I'm So Alone
by AtLossforWords
Summary: Oneshot. Songfic. Draco and Hermione are angry. Hermione is angry with Draco, while he is angry with himself. Will the apologies be enough or will someone just give up. Features the song Last Night by Diddy Feat. Keisha Cole


**AN: I don't own the songs I use or Harry Potter. If you've never heard the song, go to my profile and there is a link there that will take you to a playlist I made up with the songs on it that inspire these fics. Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

**"Last Night" by Diddy feat Keisha Cole**

**Last night,  
I couldn't even get an answer.  
Tried to call,  
But my pride wouldn't let me dial.  
And I'm sitting here,  
With this blank expression.  
And the way I feel,  
I wanna curl up like a child.**

Draco sat in his father's old office. His unshaven face scratched at his palms as he cradled his head head in his hands. His breath stank of liquor, smoke, and sorrow. He seemed to be drowning in his guilt and misgivings of the past few days. He threw the rest of the brown liquid in his glass down his throat and swallowed numbly, the burning sensation fully diminished by now.

It was Christmas Holidays and he'd been sent home for the designated break from school. He hadn't wanted to leave at first. Draco planned on spending his vacation at Hogwarts with his then girlfriend, Hermione Granger. But a few days before, he'd been caught in an unexplanable situation with Pansy Parkinson in the Hogwart's Quidditch broom shed. It wasn't his fault. That slut cornered him in there. The fact that it was pitch black didn't help his prospects. Draco had no idea that it wasn't Hermione that he had been kissing, and when his sweetheart appeared in the doorway in front of him his shock overtook his vocabulary and he fumbled on his words.

_"Fuck..." he sighed but only realised just then that it was something a guy like him would say when he was caught after being fully guilty of the act. His eyes were wide and they plead with Hermione to see past this and believe that he had no idea what was going on. Her eyes brimmed with tears and she let out a little squeak of dispare. Meanwhile Pansy just stood off to the side smirking evily and she pulled a mirror out of her pocket too fix her lipstick.  
"Draco..." his name was all Hermione was able to let out before turning on her heel and running in the opposite direction up to the castle._

_\ "Hermione!" Draco made an attempt to leave the shed, but Pansy stepped in front of him. "What are you doing? Move."_

_"What are _you_ doing? She'd just a mudblood Draco," Pansy urged, "She's not worth your time. Remember?"_

_Draco almost slapped her for saying such things, but a vision of his father flashed before his eyes and he'd be damned if he ever turned out like that bastard. "Who are you?" this caught Pansy off guard, "Why are you so blind?" When she didn't answer he threw her to one side and sprinted out the shed doors in hope of finding his love before anyone else did._

Nowadays the mansion was empty and almost ghostly with his mother passed and his father still in jail, Draco had the entire 47-room home to himself and the house elves. Ususally this luxery would be a comfort to him, but all he felt now was loneliness. He sat up and read the letter on the desk in front of him.

_  
Leave me alone. I never want to hear from you ever again. You hurt me and now I can never forgive you, please don't make me say it again._

She hadn't signed it. After reading it the first time he'd crumbled it up in anger, but seconds later smoothed it out and read it over and over again hoping for a sign that she might still love him. 

**If I told you once, I told you twice,  
You can see it in my eyes.  
I'm all cried out,  
With nothing to say.  
You're everything I wanted to be.  
If you could only see,  
Your heart belongs to me.  
I love you so much, I'm yearning for your touch.  
Come and set me free,  
Forever yours I'll be,  
Baby won't you come and take this pain awayyyyy.**

Hermione stared at the ceiling of her room that she shared with Ginny at Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, trying to think of Christmas tomorrow and not about what had happened a few days ago. It was unavoidable. With Draco owling her every two hours she had few options to think about, and just an hour ago she finally told him to bugger off and never speak to her again. Secretly she'd hoped that he wouldn't listen to her and reply anyways like the stubburn git he was. But why? He'd hurt her, and she'd cried enough over the past few days. Every two seconds she'd close her eyes and see that cow, Pansy smirking in the corner as if she'd been waiting for something outrageous to happen. Well, Hermione Jane Granger was not one to make a scene, and would not start in that broom shed for that cow to see.

_Hermione felt so vaunerable and that was what made her angry the most, not that she had just caught her boyfriend of three monthes cheating. Oh no, she'd deal with that later. She did everything she could not to cry in front of everyone at the quidditch pitch, but was unsuccessful. Feeling ashamed she sprinted towards the castle in hope to escape everyone who could ask her the painful question, "What's wrong Hermione"?_

_She made it all the way to the library before she heard it. _

_"Hermione! Please!! Wait!"_

_"GO AWAY!"_

_She felt helpless as she ran through the library entrance hoping to seek sanctuary between its bookshelves. She speed walked to the back row and dropped to the floor. That's how he found her, in the corner with her knees pulled to her chest and sobbing. He quickly went to her side and pulled her close. She let him embrace her until she calmed down. All the while she stroked her hair and whispering "Shhh."_

**Last night,  
I couldn't even get an answer.  
Tried to call,  
But my pride wouldn't let me dial.  
And I'm sitting here,  
With this blank expression.  
And the way I feel,  
I wanna curl up like a child.**

Draco flinched as he remembered seeing her in the library. He stood up with the letter in hand and started pacing back and forth in the office. Rage taking over his conscience, he picked up his glass and hurled it against the wall. He knocked the big oak desk on it's side sending his father's ministry papers everywhere. Draco servayed the damage around him and slid down the opposite wall until he was just a heap on the ground.

_Draco took quiet steps in the library as to not alert Hermione of his presence in case she wanted to get away. His heart pulsed quickly which contrasted his slow steps as he searched each isle for his love. It was now that he realised that he truely loved her, because the thought of never holding her again was a horrible feeling. As Draco approached the back row he heard voices. He pushed aside some books on the last shelf and shivvered at what he saw._

_It was Potter, on the ground with his arms around Draco's girlfriend. How dare he even think of touching her that way. He had made it very clear to Potter a week ago not to come within two feet of her, ever. Now he was stroking her beautiful curls and getting dangerously close to her left ear. Draco's heart skipped a beat when Harry kissed her forehead and wiped her tears away. The tears that Draco, himself, had so thoughtlessly caused._

**I need you,  
And you need me.  
This is so plain to see,  
And I will never let you go and,  
I will always love you so.  
I will.  
If you could only see,  
Your heart belongs to me.  
I love you so much, I'm yearning for your touch.  
Come and set me free,  
Forever yours I'll be,  
Baby won't you come and take this pain awayyyyy.**

Hermione turned on her side in her bed and stared at the wall in fatigue. She was tired. Tired of thinking about him and everything that had happened. Her feelings were doing loop-de-loops in her heart as she tried to shut them down. She wished he was here. Not so he could explain himself, he'd done that so many times in his letters, but just so that she could have his arms embrace her body and feel him occupy the emptiness in her heart. Tears from her right eye fell sideways over her nose to drip onto her arm that she placed under her head for comfort. The tears from her left eye were instantly absorbed into her pillow and disappeared as if they were never there.

_"Mione, what happened?"_

_She wiped her eyes and smeared the little makeup she had on. If she told Harry then he'd never let Draco live down his action, something that she was already beginning to considder letting him do, herself. This felt wrong. Draco should be here consoling her in all her bad times. She never thought ahead toward the times when he would cause all the discomfort. Now she felt lost, lonely, and unsure of what to do next. Where was he? Why hadn't he come after her yet? Did he even care, or was he snogging Pansy again? _

_Hermione broke down in heavy sobbs and wouldn't let Harry touch her again. "J-j-j-just g-g-go-o-o H-harry. L-leave me al-lone!" _

_"But I want to help." He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She slapped his had away._

_ "There is nothing you can do now. It's not your's to worry about," Hermione replied sullenly. She waited for him to leave as she stared at the wall, bringing everything inside. It all belongs to me._

**Last night,  
I couldn't even get an answer.  
Tried to call,  
But my pride wouldn't let me dial.  
And I'm sitting here,  
With this blank expression.  
And the way I feel,  
I wanna curl up like a child.**

**Tell me the words to say,  
To make you come back,  
And work me like that.  
And if it matters I'll rather stay home,  
With you I'm never alone.  
Don't want to wait till you're gone,  
Let me be, just don't leave me.**

Draco let his head fall backwards onto his silk pillows. The letter still clutched in his hand he had abandonded the wrecked study to find some kind of comfort in his bed. The clock read 3:30. The darkness outside hinted to him that it was the early morning. He felt like days had passed by while he was in that study. He read the letter again, but he didn't know why. He already had it memorized. She had to still love him. He had explain himself over and over in his letters. She had to understand by now. Why was she so cold in her reply?

Draco rolled over to his stomach in effort to get some kind of rest, but all he could do was think of Hermione and how her nose crinkled when she laughed, how she always had an answer for everything, and how she'd stand on the tips of her toes to get a kiss from him. Now he felt empty and his heart ached for her presence.

Keyshia  
**I need you,  
And you need me.  
This is so plain to see,  
And I will never let you go and,  
I will always love you so.  
I will.  
If you could only see,  
Your heart belongs to me.  
I love you so much, I'm yearning for your touch.  
Come and set me free,  
Forever yours I'll be,  
Baby won't you come and take my pain awayyyyy.**

Diddy  
**Last night,  
I couldn't even get an answer.  
Tried to call,  
But my pride wouldn't let me dial.  
And I'm sitting here,  
With this blank expression.  
And the way I feel,  
I wanna curl up like a child.**

Hermione and Draco tossed and turned in their beds.

**I'm so alone I'm soooo lonelyyyyy,**

**Why don't you pick the phone,  
And dial up my number,  
And call me a baby,  
I'm waiting on you.**

**Why don't you pick the phone,  
And dial up my number,  
Just call me a baby,  
I'm waiting on you.**

Hermione felt hurt that he hadn't responded to her letter. She thought for sure that he would answer despite of what she had said.

_ "Hermione."_

_It was the first day of Christmas Holidays and Hermione had made her way out into the hallway of the train before everyone else. Because of her bad week all she wanted to do was forget everything and see her parents.She turned around in a jolly sort of way expecting Ron or Harry or even Neville to be behind her. But it was Draco. He had caught her._

_"What do you want?"_

_"To explain," he tried to hold her hand but she pulled away, and yet she stayed put to listen. "I'm so sorry, Hermione."_

_"You should be."_

_"I am. I've been trying to tell you all week what happened but-"_

_"Hermione!" She turned around to see her parents waving at her from the platform. She turned to leave._

_"Please wait."_

_"No, this time you will wait," she snapped. " I've been waiting ever since that day and you never came up to me, never even tried to ask me how I was doing. I'm tired of waitng Draco." She looked down at her feet to regain her composure before everyone came filing out of their compartments, "I'm not going to be the helpless one this time. It's all up to you now." With that she stepped off the train and ran to greet her parents._

And now here she sat, waiting. Despite it all he had left her waiting again. Waiting for an answer. And at this point she was done. Hermione gave up on Draco Malfoy at 4:00 in the morning on Christmas Day. So alone, and so lonely.

**A.N.: So? what do you think? there will be a sequal to this songfic one shot. I've just got to find the perfect song! And remember, by clicking the link in my profile you should be able to go and listen to all the songs that inspire my fics if you haven't heard them before! Please review and peace!**


End file.
